Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Thursday, June 4, 2009 3:15 PM
The One With The Fractured Penis
Jamaican culture is one that is mimicked globally by streams of aficionados, from their incoherent accents to their love for the weed. The Jamaican national hero, and promulgator of peace and harmony between races, Bob Marley sums up the Jamaican and Rastafarian lifestyle as, "Herb is the healing of a nation, Alcohol is the destruction, when you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself." True enough the above-mentioned 'herb' can now be found all over the world.
Recently i read here that the controversial Jamaican dance movement known as 'Daggering' is facing a ban due to its potential in causing bodily harm. Which doesn't make sense because if any kind of dance had the potential to cause bodily harm, shouldn't that honor belong to the Capoeira?
If you thought Daggering was another form of expressive Jamaican martial art involving daggers and knives, that makes 2 of us. Daggering, from what i read, is actually an erotic dance style featuring couples simulating dry sex in various positions to the beat of the music. So it's something like what the guys in Phuture do then, except they bring it on to levels involving missionary and cowgirl?
Not quite, because apparently, the erotic dance style faces government restriction after being blamed for a spate of broken penises. OUCH. Someone tell the guy who masturbated with a plastic bottle that there is another way to break his penis. If this was true I pity the guys in Phuture. However, the steps in daggering involves extreme gyrating, check, heavy pelvis thrusting, wooo check, and 'daredevil leaps', Huh? Simulating dry sex involves daredevil leaps? Did i miss miss out on some valuable porn video footage?
Anyway back to the report, according to related medias, Jamaican couples have taken the dance moves to the bedroom with disastrous results.The warning against the dance came from Jamaican doctors, prompted by being presented with a range of fractured penises caused by rough intercourse.
Because i have nothing better to do, i have taken the effort to include a clip from youtube. Cheers to Ken the Man!
Implied Warning: Do Not Dance With A Whale!
It remains to be seen whether the local clubbing scene will begin banning such outrageous stunts. Perhaps the next time you visit Phuture, you can warn the irritating dude that keeps bumping into you on the dance-floor that he can be thrown into jail. Ah what the fuck, he can easily escape through the bathroom window and be back in the clubs the following night.
