Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Monday, June 29, 2009 12:00 AM
Movie: Street Dreams
Here's a secret for our dearest readers.
Rob Dyrdek has teamed up with P-Rod to produce a movie about a skateboarder with big dreams.
Yes, it's a movie. Hollywood style. Not a skate video.
Apparently, or so we've been told, the plot follows the life of a skateboarder who wants to turn pro. His ticket to stardom is a 360 flip crooked grind down a handrail. P-Rod is the protagonist, while Dyrdek is the bad guy who tries to wreck his dreams.
From what we've seen, it's pretty rubbish. But check it out yourself: we've added a nice trailer for your pleasure.
I haven't reviewed shoes for a long, long time. Largely because these horrid exams have been giving me a torrid time, and partly because the rats in my house are lying fetid and rank and undoubtedly dead, attracting bluebottles as we speak. But I shall be home soon, and with that in mind, I would like to introduce one of my favourite shoe brands - Gravis.
This is part of the Expedition series, which, unsurprisingly, the Japanese never came round to using on their daily hikes. As far as aesthetics go, this is top on my list. Leather uppers in front and plaid fabric behind. They feel rather like slip-ons, and this is because they have a tongueless, shoe-sock design like most of the new school Globe dogs. Even without the padding that I've come to expect from Gravis's skating range, these are comfortable shoes. Cost was approximately 210 SGD (given that I switched into sterling at 3.2 in 2003).
Score: 7.5
(I am aware the score is somewhat low, but I decided to compensate for the fact that the shoes don't go hand-in-hand with at least half my wardrobe)
Evolution has promoted the human race to an arrogant status. From a humble fishling we have evolved into primates before finally attaining today’s form. Evolution has seen to it that we develop superior communication and intellectual skills. We have transformed our early lands into the spawning metropolises we see today and our forests and jungles are constantly being flattened to make room for civilization.
I remember a CARE advertisement playing on The Discovery Channel, which really sticks to my mind. The advertisement began by displaying pictures of many endangered species as well as their destroyed habitats along with a narration of the problems these animals face. What really sticks out in my mind is the closing sentence, “Because of all the living things on Earth, we are the only ones capable of protecting them”.
This was before I saw the following news articles, which made me rethink how evolution has really fucked up the human race. Instead of playing custodian to the vast and beautiful creatures we share the Earth with, we have, as a race degraded to a point where arrogance and masochism presides over the care that we have for nature.
For a long time we have been slaughtering animals for our very own consumption and although the initial slaughters were brutal, laws have been passed for the slaughter and culling of animals to be more humane. It is socially accepted that Chickens, Pigs, Goats, Cows, Fishes and Ducks are ‘meant’ for general consumption but there are also cases of people consuming Dogs, Cats, Rabbits, Turtles, Sharks, Ostriches, Elephants, Monkeys etc.
It is as if we have been teleported back to the days where man dwelled in caves, dressed in nothing but loincloths, wielding clubs, killing anything they encounter in their hunt for food. But then again, back in those days, hunting was for survival, these days survival needs can easily be met by wiping out some cash in exchange for food. So it is unintelligible why some people would defy societal norms by consuming Dogs or Snakes as an alternative diet.
Recently I read a news article titled “Snake Bite Chicken Off the Menu”, curious about such a title I clicked on the link. What I was about to read defies all societal norms and would surely upset animal rights activists.
It seems some restaurants in China, specifically in the Guangdong region, has started offering alternative poultry dishes in their menu. Poultry as we all know is a socially accepted consumption avenue but what makes this dish special is the way in which the chickens were slaughtered.
A video link (http://you.video.sina.com.cn/b/21145091-1405053100.html) on the news website showed how the restaurant's chefs prepared the chickens for the diners. The video depicted a man, probably the chef, forcibly restraining a live chicken by stepping on its feet with his right hands clamping down on its neck so it couldn't move even if it wanted to. On his other hand he is holding the head of a live venomous snake. Next he forced the snake closer to the chicken's neck inciting the snake's natural defensive instinct which propels the snake to clamp its jaws down on the scrawny necks of its innocent victim. We then see the snake spasm as it forces its venom into the neck of the chicken.
As the venom spreads in the chicken, we can only imagine the amount of pain and suffering it is feeling as the chef explained the proceedings to the diners. At one point the chef is quoted saying the head of chicken where the venom is injected is the tastiest part because all the venom is concentrated at that particular region. As the venom emanates we can see the chicken's head slowly turning color as if swelling up into a big red balloon as its life slowly dwindled away.
As the chef and diners were chatting, he is forcefully de-feathering the, at this point still very much alive chicken. As if the chicken wasn't in enough pain already.
Apparently such dishes detoxifies the human body but then again so does over-the-counter pills at GNC. Although Chinese authorities are working to pull this dish off the menus it remains to be seen how steadfast and determined they are of this motive.
It has long been known that the Chinese are the savagest of consumers with a tendency to slaughter and make a meal out of dogs, rabbits, monkeys, bears and other animals but this is a new twist to an otherwise normalised dish. I can't even imagine how the first person discovered that chickens killed in this way are particularly tasty and detoxing, and quite honestly i do not want to know. I personally feel this is way too immoral and cruel and obviously there are other ways to detoxify the human body.
This follows the news of a recent spate of rabies spreading in a remote town in Hanzhong. In a bid to erradicate the spread of rabies, which had caused 12 deaths in the city, the Chinese authority has ordered the culling of about 36,000 stray and even 'pet' dogs.
The article showed pictures of villagers chasing dogs across streets with wooden poles and bats in a savage re-enactment of cavemen hunting expedition. This latest decree by the authorities has incited the wrath of international animals rights groups criticising China of being cruel and inhumane, saying that millions and millions of other animals raised for their pelt and meat, including cats and dogs, are mistreated and inhumanely killed.
Villagers chasing and beating stray dogs with wooden poles.
Owner of a pet dog refusing to give it up to enraged villagers, with tears in her eyes pleading for the villagers to spare her Dou Dou crying, "My Dou Dou will not bite anybody!"
Mass culling of dogs
Pet Chihuahua not spared
Living condition of dogs raised for their meat
It seems that the instruction to murder all stray and pet dogs was made impulsively and without much consideration or research/consultation. This is because experts have said that the mass removal of dogs actually increases the movements of other dogs of unknown disease statuses migrating in from neighboring regions. So instead of eradicating the rabies problem, the Chinese authorities are actually facilitating disease transmission and increasing the threat to human and animal health.
In a bid to end the cruel cullings and seek attention from animal rights groups one pet owner has filmed the death of his own dog. Due to the graphic nature of the video and the fact that i am an animal lover, i will refrain from posting this video on our blog.
The video depicts a scene that would make even the most ardent animal 'hater' wince.
Pathetically unaware that it is just 30 seconds from death, a dog stands wagging its tail expectantly as three men carrying long bamboo poles edge towards it on a dusty village track.There is a second's pause before the first blow, delivered from behind, lands on the dog's neck. It yelps in surprise and pain then scrambles back and forth in panic as the poles crack down again and again, shattering its spine.To the laughter of his colleagues, one man steps forward and delivers the coup de grace: a deadly blow that cracks the skull.
China is only just drafting out its 'First' laws to recognise animal welfare while the rest of the civilised world are already ten steps ahead and know that such care and concern for animals shouldn't even need to be written in law. Instead such acts should have come from basic human nature over the course of our evolution.
If a law needs to be passed and people instructed on how to act around animals, really how different are we from cavemen?
"Control yourself, take only what you need from it." - MGMT, Kids
Came across this video of Corey Duffel while surfing webleedwood. Check out how phat and gnarly this guy is, he's like Kurt with steroids injected into his balls.
Seeing as to how I am about to move from Camden in a couple of months' time, I thought it would be nice, for the sake of our dearest readers and various unwelcome voyeurs, to show a few pictures of the skate park near my place.
The name of the place is Cantelowes Skate Park, and there are some solid skaters there. As you can see from the pictures, it's got a huge bowl, some ramps, and beautiful women. You can also see it's built next to some football pitches and basketball courts, which is superb in the summer for random play. In fact, I probably play a lot more football than anything else.
I'm going to miss this place. But then, there's always Parkway to look forward to.
Click on the pictures to enlarge them. The panoramic shots (Pictures 2 and 4) look a lot better that way.
At the start of 2009, the Big Balls Daily promised (i) original artwork and (ii) sexy ladies. I don't have any ladies for you today, but here's some random thing I was messing around with. The resolution has been lowered so it doesn't bust the bandwidth.
Jamaican culture is one that is mimicked globally by streams of aficionados, from their incoherent accents to their love for the weed. The Jamaican national hero, and promulgator of peace and harmony between races, Bob Marley sums up the Jamaican and Rastafarian lifestyle as, "Herb is the healing of a nation, Alcohol is the destruction, when you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself." True enough the above-mentioned 'herb' can now be found all over the world.
Recently i read here that the controversial Jamaican dance movement known as 'Daggering' is facing a ban due to its potential in causing bodily harm. Which doesn't make sense because if any kind of dance had the potential to cause bodily harm, shouldn't that honor belong to the Capoeira?
If you thought Daggering was another form of expressive Jamaican martial art involving daggers and knives, that makes 2 of us. Daggering, from what i read, is actually an erotic dance style featuring couples simulating dry sex in various positions to the beat of the music. So it's something like what the guys in Phuture do then, except they bring it on to levels involving missionary and cowgirl?
Not quite, because apparently, the erotic dance style faces government restriction after being blamed for a spate of broken penises. OUCH. Someone tell the guy who masturbated with a plastic bottle that there is another way to break his penis. If this was true I pity the guys in Phuture. However, the steps in daggering involves extreme gyrating, check, heavy pelvis thrusting, wooo check, and 'daredevil leaps', Huh? Simulating dry sex involves daredevil leaps? Did i miss miss out on some valuable porn video footage?
Anyway back to the report, according to related medias, Jamaican couples have taken the dance moves to the bedroom with disastrous results.The warning against the dance came from Jamaican doctors, prompted by being presented with a range of fractured penises caused by rough intercourse.
Because i have nothing better to do, i have taken the effort to include a clip from youtube. Cheers to Ken the Man!
Implied Warning: Do Not Dance With A Whale!
It remains to be seen whether the local clubbing scene will begin banning such outrageous stunts. Perhaps the next time you visit Phuture, you can warn the irritating dude that keeps bumping into you on the dance-floor that he can be thrown into jail. Ah what the fuck, he can easily escape through the bathroom window and be back in the clubs the following night.
We had the chance to attend the finals of the 2009 FHM GND (Girl Next Door) contest held at Zirca last Friday. We were turned on not by the thought of hot chicks parading on-stage in skimpy outfits, but by the promise of free alcohol. But nevertheless, hot chicks and free alcohol sounds like a pretty enticing package to me.
The event is an annual skinfest organized by FHM to showcase our local beauties. A formula played out with much enthusiasm except for the fact that the prettiest girls often don’t bother signing up, a fact evident in the caliber of the final 10 contestants this year. From the get-go we have decided that none of the finalists had the ability to command an instant erection, this we knew because we also attended the FHM 100 GND event held at the same venue last month.
The finalists are apparently picked based on votes from the public while a panel of 3 judges and the attending crowds decides the winner. The 10 girls made their debut parading around in various forms of lingerie to the cacophony of wolf calls and whistles from the mostly male audience as le looked on from our comfortable table in the VIP area.
While the contestants were making their rounds on the floor I turned and noticed a gorgeous lady seated 3 tables to our right.
Me: Dude that chick is HOT! Justin: Dude that is Andrea Fonseka! Me: Wow, the girls are lucky she didn’t join. Justin: Damn right!
Andrea Fonseka
The rest of the show was punctuated by wardrobe malfunctions and sub-par attempts to flirt with the crowds. A forgettable question and answer session followed which reminded me why the girls are not pageant standard.
Host: Which part of your body do you think is the sexiest? Girl 1: Whichever part you wish.
Host: Why do you deserve to win this competition? Girl 2: Why not?
I swear if the host asked them to comment on the current economy the girls would announce that Mango is having a sale next week. Vernon A from 987’s Muttons to Midnight radio program was by far the saving grace of the entire event. For an extended period of time I was more enthralled by his witty remarks than the skin buffet happening on stage.
It was clear to see that when the final results were announced we were no longer interested to know who won save for the side bet the guys took before the event. When the winner was announced we muffled a whine before diving right back into something much sexier. Free Flow.
