Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Monday, March 30, 2009 5:48 AM
My Beautiful Shoes - Momentum
This week, I'm profiling a pair of blue sexy Momentums. These are great clubbing shoes and goes perfectly with my Vans pants. However, the sole is so insubstantial that your dogs will start hurting before you've walked 2 miles. Clearly, these would make horrible skate shoes.
Nonetheless, I love them, and I thought I should showcase them this week because I wore them out last night and everyone at the club was stomping on them and they're all black and gross now.
Also, they cost me 45 SGD, which I thought was a decent price.
Keeping fit is something that is thrown at us all the time, but probably something which we don't appreciate until we have lost it. It wasn't very long ago when we were still able to skate through the night and visit several spots in one sitting. I remember a time when Kurt and me skated almost everyday after school, and we didn't even end early, we skated till about 10-11pm before grabbing some beers at 7-11 and woke up for school the next day only to repeat the same cycle again.
In stark contrast, our recent skate expedition to Taiwan ended in ruins because we forgot Taiwan has Summer, and skating in summer, is not fun. You would think that living in Singapore's weather conditions would sufficiently condition us to accept whatever the sun can throw at us but No. It was like skating in a microwave oven stuck on 'High' wearing eskimo fur-coats.
Everytime time we stepped out of a building we felt an instant heat-wave. It was like walking out of your home and immediately entering Hell or have you opened one of those huge-ass freezer door in 7-11 or Cold-Storage? It is the same feeling only worse, because cool air is cool but warm air thats another thing altogether. On top of that the air felt dry, it felt like the whole street would ignite with just a spark.
Kurt, John and me were naturally not accustomed to skating in such conditions and the only times we skated in Taiwan was at night. That 3-4 hours of skating soaked our shirts pretty badly and perspiration was actually dripping from our hair and chin onto our boards. We were sweating so much if we shook our heads wildly, we may qualify as water sprinklers. That aside we still managed to visit a few spots before Kurt injured his wrist. Oh and another word of advice, don't wear white tees skating in Taiwan. This is serious because the streets are so dusty and dirty if you fell on the sidewalk, the sidewalk will get imprinted on your shirt.
The reason of this post is this, I have a tummy, this is not funny, i've never had a tummy, i've never been fat, i've never been able to gain any weight.
But recently i find a couple of jeans do not fit anymore, and I'm starting to use holes on my belt that i've never considered using before, also I genuinely feel that in 3 months time I can actually hold the steering wheel with my tummy while i gorge on a burger.
I realised why i wasn't able to gain any weight before. I had been skating regularly. Now, I wake up and go to work, have some insane curry dish for lunch, go home for dinner, head to school, go drinking, wind up having supper, go to bed, rinse and repeat.
"Of course you're going to get a tummy!" you say. But one thing's for sure, i'm trying to work this bastard off. Ever heard stories from dieting friends saying how hard it is to lose weight? I bet you snicker to yourself when their backs are turned. But i've come to realise it really is pretty tough.
Just the other day, after not jogging for years, i decided to head over to East Coast Park for a jog because i read somewhere that jogging is the most balanced way to lose weight. After about 2km i felt like dying, my thighs started to cramp, my lungs threatened to stop taking in oxygen, my heart was pounding like Travis Barker on steroids and my muscles were cursing me for making such a bad decision. I held on to my tummy (Yes it can be "Held"), and told myself it's gonna be worth it.
I ran another 2 steps before going, "Fuck it i need a drink.", I turned to run back the way i came only to start punching myself for not choosing a treadmill. Rationalising that i would need an ambulance if i ran 2 more steps i decided to walk the 2kms back to 7-11.
This jogging shit is too hard.
FUCK IT, i got a tummy, i can lose it, but you're still ugly.
So this is the second part of my anniversary celebration with Kelly. As previously mentioned, we celebrated the first part by jumping around in a tiny Kbox room in Cineleisure. For the second part we headed back to Jbar where we had 3 bottles of Chivas with our names written all over it.
We managed to get a sweet table in a corner of the bar with a commanding view of the city skyline and the ECP. The table itself was in our opinion, too massive for the whole group of us. If you remembered Jbar was having One-For-One all night long this day, so naturally as the host i was expecting not to make it out with my liver intact that night.
Just as i had expected, people were buying me drinks left and right from the get-go. I probably downed a few shots of tequila and some beer before the monster martinis were brought out.
After the first glass i figured i shouldn't be the only one having issues with my liver so i made everybody drink the martini.
Especially Yanie and Cizarre because they let slip the day before that they got together on the 14th as well.
Somewhere along the night i had a revealing conversation with Wallace.
Wallace: Eh so you guys really got together on the 14th ah?
Me: Yah man the 14th of March 2001
Wallace: Ohh what a coincidence.....
Me: What is?
Wallace: Me and Chloe also got together on the 14th
Me: GUYS WALLACE & CHLOE GOT TOGETHER ON THE 14TH TOO!!!!
So the night was made, 3 couples all whom got together on the 14th and a bunch of crazy mates out to make the night memorable.
I cannot remember how many glasses of giant martinis there were that night but im guessing it was pretty sufficient.
Even couples that did not get together on the 14th (Beng and Charlotte) were made to drink from the giant glass. Such was the amount of love filling the air that night.
Before the end of Jbar i was left on the ground, not defeated but sufficiently bloated. We went on to Zouk where we had a few more jugs of God knows what before winding the night over a steaming hot supper of Bak Kut Teh.
God Knows what's gonna happen on our 9th anniversary, but one thing for sure is that there will be alcohol and there will be puking.
Friday 27th March: FHM's Girls Next Door event at Zirca (100 GIRLS IN BIKINIS!!!)
Saturday 28th March: RSVP at St James (FREE FLOW!!!)
Updates from the "High" life to be up soon, for now my liver needs a well deserved break from being tortured and drowned in alcohol.
It was Friday night, and I was high and hot at Jaguar Shoes. JS is THE shaggiest dig in London, and I was having a superb time.
And then I got up from the thick, gelatinous sofa in which I had been ensconced. And cold, dead horror crept up on me like a slug making its way up a wet, rotting twig.
My phone was anywhere but in my pocket.
If I catch the motherfucker who took away my love, I swear I'll take his eyes away.
I believe Ken has explain enough on what alcohol can do to your mind with all his posts.Yesterday, the wrath of alcohol came upon me once again since the wine party in London. Unfortunately, I am unable to write a detail account on what happened, because I was simply too intoxicated to have any recollections. However, I did remember giving the cab driver all my pounds and telling him the exchange rate because the sing dollars I had with me was not enough to pay the fare. Anyway, all was good, as I managed to somehow stumble my way back home. Ken and I await Kurt's arrival so that we can once again challenge the wrath of Mr. Alcohol. Couldnt agree more with Ken, I hate Driving! posted by John T at
1:19 PM
//Thursday, March 19, 2009 2:04 AM
The Bad Driver
Hahahahahahaha
Countless times i find myself wanting to do the same thing as the guy waiting in line.
The Occasion: Me and Xiumei's 8th Year Anniversary
Last saturday on the 14th of March 2009, me and Kelly decided to celebrate our anniversary in a different way. Traditionally, anniversaries are intimate affairs that are usually celebrated privately between 2 individuals. However, this year we decided to do it in "Style", we have the spare cash, we have the party people, we have "more" party people, we just needed a place to go crazy.
After rounds of discussion we decided to throw it at Jbar, for those that are not aware, Jbar offers one-for-one on bottles everyday before 8.30pm. So if you buy 2 bottles before that time you get 4 bottles which is a very good deal. On the Friday, Kelly, Justin and me headed over to Jbar to purchase the bottles first as the promo doesn't apply on weekends, thinking we could finish one bottle and leave 3 bottles for the party on Saturday. That was when we realised that Jbar has extended its promotion to weekends as well plus on weekends you don't even have to purchase them before 8.30pm. On top of that, Saturdays are One-For-One all drinks all night.
The horror of the approaching night finally hit me. I'm sure i can handle 3 bottles of Chivas, but one-for-one all night, i'm pretty sure i'm not driving home. From what i know Jbar has this crazy-huge-ass martini that comes in a giant cocktail glass that looks more like a soup bowl, with the lychees skewered in "satay sticks" going for $50. If i'm not wrong i will have to deal with a couple or more of these monster drinks.
Anyway back to Friday.
So midway through the first bottle of Chivas, Yanie and Cizarre decide to pop by which was great considering it was only 10pm and we are almost finished on the Chivas. Somewhere between toasts and toilet trips, Kelly mentioned that our anniversary should have been on the 13th and not the 14th while i argued that it's on the 14th and not the 13th.
You see on the 13th of March 2001, I went out on a date with Kelly, somehow we ended up at Parkway Parade or more specifically Roxy Park (Yes, the place we skate all the time). I remember asking for her hand at about 11pm, she agreed after 12am so doesn't that justify that our official anniversary should be celebrated on the 14th?
Somehow, this explanation doesn't fly with the gang who argues that we should celebrate our anniversary on the 13th AND the 14th. Two celebrations you say?
What the hell Celebrations = Drinks right? At least thats what's written in 'my' dictionary.
So we slugged the remaining bottle and screamed in awful synchrony to the performing band. What a scene we were, i tell you, in an upmarket place no less. So we decided to avoid the nasty stares and hop over to Acid Bar where we know our awful singing/shouting would be more appreciated. We have already built a rapport with the crew at Acid Bar and were sure that we would be able to get a table upon arrival.
We arrived only to find Acid Bar packed to the brim with less wild revelers. The place was filled to the door with people and they even had bouncers at the door to discourage more sardines from entering.
Fuck it we thought let's go somewhere else where we can scream ourselves hoarse.
So we made our way to Kbox Cineleisure, resisting the temptation to purchase over-priced whiskey we smuggled in our own whiskey bought from the 7-11 downstairs mixed with the coke provided by Kbox.
Coke + Whiskey = Bourbon Coke.... I fucking hate the taste of bourbon, give me a glass and i would turn around to run faster than you can say "Yo!" Bourbon tastes about as bad as a walrus's butt smells as bad too.
Just as well, i needed to sober up before driving home so since i hated bourbon i decided to detox by drinking Hot Milo, the whole night. When you're starting to sober up and the people around you are getting more wasted you feel like a paraplegic at the olympics.
I've decided to take a break from the weekly skate shoe review to bring you something slightly different. Apart from chunky iPaths and Red Wings, proper Italian leather shoes are my secret love. I bought this pair of hand made Bruno Maglis a couple of months back, at a reasonable price. They don't look as sharp as some of my other shoes, but they're comfortable and good for pretentious hanging around in a cream suit.
Also, given that London is ALWAYS on light shower mode, I am beginning to appreciate the practicalities of having a rubber sole. Climactic conditions aside, I remain a most fervent supporter of fully stitched leather soles.
I promise to bring you a skate shoe review next week, but in the meantime, this is my take on this pair of punks.
The 'Roastbeef' was invented by this dude called Jeff Grosso. Executing a roastbeef on flat land may be 'cool', but definitely not cool enough when chicks are watching. Therefore, in this month's trick tips special, we will be teaching you guys on how to 'Roastbeef' off a 10.
1. First, take a real good look at the stairs that you are going to be 'roastbeefing' off. It may be your very last.
2. next, prepare about a distance of 25-30 feet away from the 10 as you will need to approach the stairs at a relatively good speed. You DO NOT want to find yourself landing right smack in the centre of the 10 if you happen to bail off mid air. Yeah, i am not kidding, trust me.
3. Pick up as much speed as possible as you approach the 10, then POP as HARD as you can. You need a good ollie in order to clear the stairs as well to execute the grab trick. Once in mid air, proceed to grab the heel side of your deck with your training hand. Hold on to that grab for about 1.5s (if you have enough 'air', you can always try grabbing for a good 5 seconds, but the Big Balls Daily will not be liable for the consequences), release the grab and brace yourself for the landing.
4. Brace the impact with bend knees, and roll off.
5. Plan on where to party tonight with your mates. posted by John T at
9:00 PM
//Friday, March 13, 2009 6:22 PM
The Celebrity I Don't Wanna Look Like
So i was pissed bored watching tv at home, what better to do than to laugh at my friends and myself? (Warning Ugly Photos Alert!! Hahahaha)
Whoa i came across this cool website where you can upload your photos and they will run it using some face recognition technology against a database of celebrity photos before determining who you resemble the most. The celebrity morph function is crazy cool. Kurt and John please do it and post who you look so we can finally disregard John's claim that he resembles Wang Li Hom. I already predict that Kurt's mug will give him a result of hurdler Liu Xiang Hahahaha.
This was taken way back. Probably 2003 and probably on a camera phone. Found it idling on the computer and thought I'd jazz it up with some music before sticking it in here.
I normally land one full cab in 20 attempts. That's how awful I am.
A fakie big flip takes me about 30 tries. Back when Dhoby Ghaut was a happier place, the ratio was one in 10 tries.
I remember when I could land varial flips, heelflips, kickflips just like that. Now, I would be lucky to land one in three attempts.
So, bearing in mind how limited my oeuvre is, I present you with a picture of me spinning madly in mid-air, desperately trying to land a full cab. This was my eighth try and to be honest, I don't think I landed it.
If I find the full series (somewhere in my computer), I'll post it.
Haggard, weary, drained, bushed, bagged and dead beat the results of sleep deprivation, school work, project research, research analysis, project write-ups, tightening deadlines both at work and school and in between finding the last strand of energy and conviction to have some fun.
The outer shell radiates a ghastly glow, albeit with a meek smile forced between chapped, cracking lips the results of excessive cigarette consumption and the rapid evaporation of alcohol on skin taking away with it every drop of moisture.
The sun hangs high and for an instant i am transported back in time as a naked slave surrounded by hundreds more sweating, sobbing, whimpering,shivering from fear and exhaustion. The crack of a whip emanates from two rows beside me as the leathery whip comes into contact with naked skin tearing the flesh exposing more than it should on the already skeletal bodies. The heart-wrenching scream that follows boils the blood as perspiration seeps into the open wound. Another whip falls on someone trying to help as the foremen cheered each other on oblivious to the atrocities against humanity.
Those that fall on the way from exhaustion, starvation, abuse are quickly replaced with new slaves. No words were allowed to be exchanged amongst slaves which in an ironic way makes our lives easier not knowing the name of the person collapsing in front of you.
Fear of the whip drove us on, tugging at the ropes i looked up to catch a glimpse of the pyramids as it momentarily eclipsed the sun. I turned around to look at the enormous rock weighing us down and all around i see thousands more, like giant sand cubes being dragged by armies of ants.
"YOU DARE TO LAY EYES ON THE PYRAMID SLAVE??!!!"
I turned back to face a giant of a man face black and fiery, eyes burning with hatred and disgust. He raised his arms as he preps his whip eyes burning a hole through my naked skin. Cowering in fear i shielded my head with my bloody hands skin torn and blistered from ropeburn and covered my eyes as my muscles tightened to receive the whip.
