Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Tuesday, September 30, 2008 6:37 AM
Gas What?
The best way to get round ERP charges has to be this chunky gas skateboard. Large rubber tires, blood red plastic, and a humongous mini-motor make this the must-have product of 2008.
The Big Balls Daily is offering a huge discount on these butt-ugly babies. We are able to sell these for 60 SGD each, as opposed to our usual RRP of 120 SGD. Check out the specs below:
When the end of the world comes, who would you want to be beside you sitting on the hill watching as the massive asteroid comes smashing into the earth’s atmosphere leaving a fiery streak of red across the night sky?
Who did you imagine, clinging to your arm, eyes closed, upon impact as you sit on the hills awaiting the fiery walls to radiate from ground zero?
What did you imagine, were the last words whispered to each other, muffled amidst the cacophony of destruction, as you sit on the hill tops in tight embrace promising not to let go of each other?
As the earth is slowly engulfed in fire and radioactive dust I sit and wait alone on the crackling embers for my love to return.
I was always connected but no one writes to me.... posted by Ken The Man at
6:10 PM
// 5:01 PM
Please write to me
I am connected too! Finally...
posted by Kurt Kinky at
5:01 PM
//Monday, September 22, 2008 9:34 PM
Stay connected...
i have internet now. please feel free to email me.
posted by John T at
9:34 PM
//Thursday, September 18, 2008 11:42 PM
Carpet Bombing
The funny thing about the inevitable is that it is always late. Especially for the clandestine student who screws up Archbold by day and makes love to Pinter by night.
posted by Kurt Kinky at
11:42 PM
// 2:15 PM
Goodbye?
Opps just realised the fonts may be a tad small... Click on image for full size view
Tony Hawk is rich and chief executive of his own company, but according to the man himself, he still eats at McDonald's regularly.
"You have to be approachable and identify with your audience," Hawk said. "I never forgot where I came from. I still continue to skate with the kids and see what they're up to. I still eat at McDonald's."
The Greatest Night Of All.
posted by Kurt Kinky at
9:06 PM
//Thursday, September 11, 2008 6:01 PM
The Etnies Empire
In the 1980s, long before Pierre Andre Senizergues founded Etnies, he was a skateboarder in Venice Beach, living out of a van.
Now 45, Senizergues is a rich man and owns a waterfront home in Newport Beach.
Check out some of these pictures:
In the living room to the right, we see a bench made from skateboard decks. There is also a plywood room divider, partially visible at far right, whose cutouts are the shape of skateboards.
Skateboard wheels mark the hours on this clock.
A rich man lounging.
Pierre Andre Senizergues takes a familiar stance on a patio mosaic.
A couple of weeks ago, I introduced the Soul Board to the Big Balls community. I've since found another variation called the Flowboard, and from the pictures, it's got enough wheels to keep manufacturers busy for a while.
Apparently, it is doing quite well in North America. Sales are supposed to hit 15 million USD next year. Maybe we'll see it on the Singapore streets before too long.
Scully: Homer We're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes (Lie detector blows up)
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist but he is not a porn star!
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer: Marge? Since i'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad i will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart i just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like i do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly i heard what you said
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to
Homer: Bart, go to your room
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless!
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs withh bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're "under"reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is "under".
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: "Bad"bye.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, i think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die, Bart Die"?
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The, Bart the".
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole granted!
Moe: Hi, my name's moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, "Hey, you in the bushes!"
Homer: When i held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Electronic Arts has released a new trailer from Skate It, a new game in the Skate franchise. Designed for the Wii , Skate It allows players to skate with the Wii Balance board. Have a quick peek here at The Big Balls Daily:
Want to try out an eco-friendly, bamboo skateboard?
BambooSK8, which builds the decks from bamboo, noted that skateboarding has replaced flooring as the number one contributor to deforestation of maple in North America.
German police are looking for a skateboarder who was filmed travelling around 100 kilometres an hour on a motorway while wearing sexy leotards and tights.
You guys should stop posting emo songs. Listen to me ol' favors and grab emself some stout.
Flogging Molly - "Drunken Lullabies"
Must it take a life for hateful eyes To glisten once again Five hundred years like Gelignite Have blown us all to hell What savior rests while on his cross we die Forgotten freedom burns Has the Shepard led his lambs astray to the bigot and the gun
Must it take a life for hateful eyes To glisten once again Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies
I watch and stare as Rosin`s eyes Turn a darker shade of red And the bullet with this sniper lie In their bloody gutless cell Must we starve on crumbs from long ago Through these bars of men made steel Is it a great or little thing we fought Knelt the conscience blessed to kill
Must it take a life for hateful eyes To glisten once again Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies
Ah, but maybe it`s the way you were taught Or maybe it`s the way we fought But a smile never grins without tears to begin For each kiss is a cry we all lost Though there is nothing left to gain But for the banshee that stole the grave Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies
I sit in and dwell on faces past Like memories seem to fade No colour left but black and white And soon will all turn grey But may these shadows rise to walk again With lessons truly learnt When the blossom flowers in each our hearts Shall beat a new found flame
Must it take a life for hateful eyes To glisten once again Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess Singin' drunken lullabies Singin' drunken lullabies
Dropkick Murphys - "The Spicy McHaggis Jig"
I'll tell you a story, believe me it's true a tale you'd best hope never happens to you old spicy mcHaggis, how he met his fate you I can save, but for him it's too late
Spicy was big, burly and strong his pipes were gigantic, and so was his schlong from city to city running around looking for chicks over four hundred pounds
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye big as a house, just the right size the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt the piper delivered his best pick-up line thought to himself, "this beast is all mine" the portly young lady could stand for no more grabbed his cojones and went for the door
They got to her house and dimmed all the lights Spicy was in for one hell of a night he said that he loved her, he'd always be true "But Mr. McHaggis, I've only just met you!!"
By now he saw double through his drunken eyes neither had looks or appropriate size he came to his sense, thought to himself, "At this time of night I won't find nothing else" he took off his shirt, she lifted her skirt, they pulled out his unit and stared to play she asked for a glove, he gave her a shove, had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye big as a house, just the right size the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt the piper delivered his best pick-up line thought to himself, "this beast is all mine" the portly young lady could stand for no more grabbed his cojones and went for the door
Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'til he dies Spicy McHaggis, one hell of a guy!
Flogging Molly - "The likes of You Again"
Here's to you, I sing for my daddy-o As I lay him down to sleep It's been so long, since I lost my daddy-o Hope he's watchin' over me
Wednesday night is mornin' now As I'm walkin' in the rain The birds are screaming in my ear Drivin' me insane
Half the clouds are empty So the sun burst through the sky The puddles show reflection Of a face about to die
Just around the corner, I was goin' round the bend I ran into a staggerin' fool Who said he knew my name
He poured himself a whiskey And his face began to glow Two men without an answer Like a dog without a bone
Bringin' in the new year As the bells began to ring Fats is in the corner, she's just about to sing Time to get another, before the final shout You should have heard them roarin' When they dragged the bugger out And we'll never see the likes of you again
Jimbo came from slummin' town A cold and dreary place To summerland he found himself The sun shun on his face
Met a girl called Minnie Pearl Swore she'd always be his girl Happy ever after, till the tide ran out again
Pour me all your sorrows And I'll drink till you are dry I'll love you in the mornin' Christ, I'll love ya till you die
I'll never leave so never grieve I'll be back before ya know But Jimbo fell into a well And never rambled home
Carried all his troubles in an unforgivin' bag Back and forth through painted brick
The colours all seemed bland I've traveled all these years, he said To only get this far, so he crossed the street Found a seat, his home is now a bar
And we'll never see the likes of you again No we'll never see the likes of you again
There must be more to life, than this poxie life All the agro, all the pain
So he disappeared into his final beer But the glass was empty, once again, again, again
Woke up in an awful state Dreamt I was at Peter's Gate Beggin' for his mercy And the crimes that were at hand
He told me he was much amused To see this life I had abused Best be on your way, but have a swig before you go
So I'm bringing in the New Year As the bells began to ring Fat's in the corner, she's just about to sing Time to get another, before the final shout You should have heard them roarin' When they dragged the bugger out
And we'll never see the likes of you again No we'll never see the likes of you again No we'll never see the likes of you again
Dropkick Murphys - "Barroom Heroes"
Face down in the gutter won't admit defeat
Though his clothes are soiled and black
He's a big strong man with a child's mind
Don't you take his booze away, Hey!
He's been at it for years drinkin' balls and beers
he's a hero to most he meets
But inside he cries black
Swollen eyes this man he sheds no tears
Now his wife and kids sing a different tune
As they worry 'bout their daddy dyin'
But this arrogant fool breaks every rule
It'll be nothing but pride that kills him
Could he listen no he won't, that's all she wrote
He'll be dead before the daylight shines
'Cause the thought and prayers of a million strong
Might keep this boy from dying
He's a legend in the bar with every scar
Fights a thousand bigger men
Now he fights and loses got all the bruises
Will someone please step in?
This irish fool's got a great big heart
He keeps climbing back into the ring
In the lowdown circles where he holds his courts
This man he once was king
Could he listen no he won't, that's all she wrote
He'll be dead before the daylight shines
'Cause the thought and prayers of a million strong
Might keep this boy from dying
Could he listen no he won't, that's all she wrote
He'll be dead before the daylight shines
'Cause the thought and prayers of a million strong
Might keep this boy from dying
He's a legend in the bar with every scar
Fights a thousand bigger men
Now he fights and loses got all the bruises
Will someone please step in?
This irish fool's got a great big heart
He keeps climbing back into the ring
In the lowdown circles where he holds his courts
This man he once was king
Could he listen no he won't, that's all she wrote
He'll be dead before the daylight shines
'Cause the thought and prayers of a million strong
Might keep this boy from dying
Could he listen no he won't, that's all she wrote
He'll be dead before the daylight shines
'Cause the thought and prayers of a million strong
Might keep this boy from dying
Flogging Molly - "Seven Deadly Sins"
Sail away where no ball and chain Can keep us from the roarin' waves Together undivided but forever we'll be free So sail away aboard our rig The moon is full and so are we We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins
So the years rolled by and several died And left us somewhat reelin' Johnny strummed his Tommy gun Left blastin' through the ceiling So what became of rebels Who sang for you and me? Grapplin' with their demons In the search for liberty
Suffers who suffer all Can swim upon the desert Where avarice have ravaged all In spite of good intentions Don't fill your mouth with gluttony For pride will surely swell But nothing's unforgiven in the four corners of hell
Sail away where no ball and chain Can keep us from the roarin' waves Together undivided but forever we'll be free So sail away aboard our rig The moon is full and so are we We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins
Envy and its evil twin It crept in bed with slander Idiots they gave advice But sloth it gave no answer Anger kills the human soul With butter tales of lust While pavlov's Dogs keep chewin' On the legs they never trust
Sail away where no ball and chain Can keep us from the roarin' waves Together undivided but forever we'll be free So sail away aboard our rig The moon is full and so are we We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins
But It's the only life we'll know Blagards to the bone So don't wreck yourself Take an honest grip For there's more tales beyond the shore
Ah the years rolled by and several died And left us somewhat reelin' In and out came crawlin' out And spewed upon the ceiling So what became of rebels" That sang for you and me Grapplin; with their demons In the search for liberty
Sail away where no ball and chain Can keep us from the roarin' waves Together undivided but forever we'll be free So sail away aboard our rig The moon is full and so are we We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins
Sail away where no ball and chain Can keep us from the roarin' waves Together undivided but forever we'll be free So sail away aboard our rig The moon is full and so are we We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins We're seven drunken pirates We're the seven deadly sins
Broken heart again today... The flowers that I gave to you have withered all away. Just when I opened up my heart The one you used to love came and ripped it right apart.
Why do I never seem to learn? That love is wrong and girls are fucking evil. I guess I'll never figure out What womankind is all about.
I heard your voice again today I'm scarred by all the lies that were once promises you'd made. I lie in bed awake at night And wonder what went wrong or even more just what went right.
posted by John T at
5:00 AM
// 12:39 AM
Falling Down
A 14-year-old boy is recovering from multiple injuries after falling 40 feet through a skylight while skateboarding on the roof of a school in America.
The boy fractured his right wrist, ribs, pelvis and bruised his right lung.
Making things worse, the teen was cited for trespassing.
Source: AP
Here is a video of someone tre-flipping a set at the same school:
And here is a video of someone hard-flipping another set at the same school:
Here is the official BIG BALLS SONG. Please sing along to the tune of Michael Jackson's "We Are The World". As I am lazy, I will only do the chorus.
-----------------
We got big balls We got the power We are the ones who got greater balls So let's start shouting There's a song we're singing We're making our own sauce It's true we'll shake these bigger balls Us balls brothers
