Scully: Homer We're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?Homer: Yes (Lie detector blows up)
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist but he is not a porn star!
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer: Marge? Since i'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad i will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart i just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like i do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly i heard what you said
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to
Homer: Bart, go to your room
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless!
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs withh bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're "under"reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is "under".
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: "Bad"bye.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, i think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die, Bart Die"?
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The, Bart the".
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole granted!
Moe: Hi, my name's moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, "Hey, you in the bushes!"
Homer: When i held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
posted by Ken The Man at
