Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Saturday, February 28, 2009 12:34 AM
Not A Tear To Shred
We are told the British government wants Fred the Shred to give up 16m GBP as a "gesture" of goodwill.
We are told that if Fred the Shred does not voluntarily give up 16m GBP as a "gesture" of goodwill, the government will do all it can to claw back the money.
We are told Gordon Brown is disgusted, union leaders are up in arms, Prescott is working the anger mill, and politicians from every major party have had something to say.
We know Fred the Shred had a service contract, and that the terms of his contract were a matter of negotiation between informed, sophisticated and experienced parties of full capacity. We know too that any pension payout under the contract was discretionary. We know that the RBS Board sanctioned the payment knowing full well the pension payout was discretionary. We know the decision to exercise the discretion in favour of Fred the Shred was made by Board Resolution, duly minuted and recorded in the Company Books. We know that unless there were serious irregularities or unless the Board was misled, Fred the Shred is entitled to 16m GBP. We know also that Fred the Shred is entitled to not give up 16m GBP as a "gesture" of goodwill.
We know that the government has injected much money into the financial sector. We know that the government took a decision to rescue RBS with taxpayers' money. We know that the decision was made by the government, and we know now that the government wants Fred the Shred to "do the right thing", and to "do what is morally right". We know that the government wants Fred the Shred to give up his entitlement to 16m GBP so as to justify the government's decision to save RBS with taxpayers' money. We know also that the government is speaking to lawyers in the hope that they can force a recovery of the 16m GBP to which Fred the Shred is entitled.
We know the last elections were 4 years ago. We know a general election is due. We know Labour has not been doing well in the polls. We know the Tories believe this to be their year. We know that an economic crisis happens every 6 to 10 years. We know Keynesian economics like the back of our hands. We know that nobody gives a FUCK during boom time. We know that everybody gives a FUCK now.
Sorry for the delay in posting. Exams held me up but I'm back with this week's installment of My Beautiful Shoes.
I haven't bought Vans for a long time. My last pair was the Vans Cab, and obviously that was a classic. But when I saw these in the store, I decided to give them a go.
If you are used to chunky, padded shoes, and the level of comfort they give you, then switching to Vans may be a disappointing affair. The amount of padding is minimal, and the biggest downside for me is the way I can feel the ground when I walk. The sole is seriously thin, and having been weaned on Globe's superior sole system, I struggled initially to get to grips with this pair of Vans.
Of course, this is not the Rowley Elite, which provides substantial sole protection. And for that reason, I actually quite like this pair of Vans. It does what it says on the tin. It's slim, sexy, full of skullduggery, and goes terrifically with my black Vans jeans (as you can see from the picture above). My rating?
Alcohol, testosterone, ego and pride a volatile concoction of male energy that can just about start a fight anytime. Couple that with a birthday celebration equating to more booze, now we have a deadly brewery of testosterone driven territorial sensitivity.
What amazed me wasn't the fact of being caught in a scuffle it was the fact that with the way we have been drinking, why it had taken so long for a riot to break out?
Alcohol and male energy, a known composition since prehistoric times that can easily ignite a fight even in the most social environment. Our caucasian counterparts have been known to become quite rowdy when intoxicated. The asians however, pretty mild by caucasian standards. But if provoked it would be foolhardy to expect the typical Asian male to not react.
And so there we were, enjoying our bottle of Chivas in the inner sanctum of Zouk, the dance-floor a stone's throw away from our table and the crowds thoroughly enjoying themselves, generally a good night out. And then, the first spark.
A table across from us was occupied by some caucasians, a group of 2 ladies and 1 guy. I had noticed the group when we settled in, escalated speech, frowning faces, eyes darting around the dance-floor a sure sign of loathe for their current environment. I made a mental note not to provoke the group. Then some guy dancing between our tables accidentally bumped into their group sending the bottle of vodka crashing to the floor. In an act of protest the "Ang-Moh" guy hurled a handful of ice at the careless chap.
Alcohol, naturally fucks up your aiming, most of the ice-cubes completely missed their intended target and instead ended up hitting some of the girls in our group. This act of protest by the Ang-Moh was greeted with some degrees of discontentment from our group but after some heated exchange of words we decided to let the matter rest. This wasn't because we were afraid of him, even though he might think we are, we just didn't see the point of arguing with someone whose speech is slurred and quite possibly in need of a support just to be able to pee standing.
Note that our group was by no means "small", we had about 12 people in our group, all over the prescribed drinking limit, all pissed at this rowdy Ang-Moh and all ready to jump into action, girls included.
We breathed a sigh of relief when the maggot and his companions decided to leave. As he passed us he grabbed my cap and set it upon his oily scalp, not wanting to let my cap drown in oil i took it back while shoving him away. At this point the maggot was all smiles, an obvious sign of being drunk. He moved over to A and tried to mess with A's hair. A naturally wasn't going to let him succeed, everytime A shoved him aside he would continue smiling before trying again oblivious to the vulgarities spewing out of A's mouth.
By the sixth attempt D had had enough, i saw D going up to confront Mr. Drunk, i turned around for a sip from my glass, then i felt a violent shove from my back throwing the glass out of my hands and pinning my chest against the bar. I turned around to find a scuffle had broken out between Mr. Drunk and D, in the chaos i snuck a few punches at Mr. Drunk for making me spill my drink. Everyone started handing me their glasses, as i was closest to the table i instinctively laid them safely upon the table, i deserve a pat on the back for keeping the drinks safe.
The next moment i turned around, Mr. Drunk and D were on the floor rolling around trying to land punches on each other. Everyone was trying to break them up, stools and tables were getting toppled over, people were moving out of the way W and i were trying to pull D free. Y (a girl) was getting ready to get into the scuffle the bouncers were pushing through the crowds towards us. Everything erupted chaotically i no longer had any idea who was doing what.
Six bouncers managed to break the fight up CC (another girl) was standing between the fighters (now standing while being held by bouncers) arms spread out trying to keep them away from each other. Mr. Drunk made an attempt to charge at D breaking free from the bouncers and pushing CC to the ground. Amidst the struggle one of the bouncer got hit in the head pretty badly, now realizing who the aggressor was the bouncers charged at Mr. Drunk pinning him down while we were led outside.
D, X and me were now outside being interrogated by the head of security. The injured bouncer was led outside sometime later dazed and in a rage. W and CL came out sometime later to join us as Mr Drunk was being led out. W started hurling insults at Mr Drunk who retaliated with the following.
Mr Drunk: i shawww yeeuuuu innn thaee toilet earlier
W: I wasn't in the toilet!
Mr Drunk: Yeahhhhh, i shhawww yeuu there fixxing your hair like a fagggurttt
W: Whatever lah fuck
Mr Drunk: *mock fixing his hair in a gayly fashion*
W: *throws some racist insult that can't be mentioned*
Upon hearing W's insult Mr Drunk made a feeble attempt to charge before being pinned to the ground face-first by the bouncers.
Mr Drunk: Didtch you eear whatcch he said?
Bouncer: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STAY HERE!!
Mr Drunk: Yuee're gonna letch him shay this to me?!
Bouncer: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
*Bouncers prop him up and pins him in a corner*
At this point Mr Drunk started saying the smartest thing i ever heard.
Mr Drunk: Yeu guys go to the gym don'tch yeu?
Bouncers: *Stares in silence*
Mr Drunk: Yeah you mush, such big biceps
Bouncers: *Stares in silence, a little angrier now*
Mr Drunk: Why do yeu work out so much? Are you all gays?
If you've seen the bouncers in Zouk, you would know better than to piss them off. But when you're as drunk as this guy you feel like Hercules and Hercules has no fear.
An attempt to let the parties apologize nearly started a riot so the bouncers had no choice but to make us sit by the roadside while they pin Mr Drunk against the wall. We could still hear aggravated arguments between the bouncers and Mr Drunk from where we sat. Once in awhile Mr Drunk will make an attempt to charge one of the bouncers before being restrained violently.
An ambulance arrived for the injured bouncer followed by the police shortly after. Zouk's security had reviewed their surveillance tapes and cleared us of the scuffle, apparently statements taken from the onlookers concluded in our favor as well. Mr Drunk must have pissed a few people off, even his 2 female companions were nowhere to be seen. We also learnt that the worst thing you could do was to lay a finger on any of the bouncers. Something Mr Drunk should have been made aware of.
The police took our statements before letting us go taking Mr Drunk into their custody. So there we were, all 12 of us sitting by the roadside shellshocked and with the night irrevocably ruined. Well at least none of us sustained any serious injuries.
Kurt, John and me haven't been skating much these days but standing at the sidelines watching the evolution of the local skateboard scene, it is inevitable that much change has taken place. The public has grown more tolerant of skateboarding and recognizing it as a legitimate form of alternative sports now. And the local skate scene is getting more coverage by the media, whether in the form of interviews, footage or even advertisements, all these little moves slowly but surely helps the general public be more accepting of our art-form.
Many individuals have also been trying very hard to promote the local skate scene. A couple years back when i was still actively skating (not much these days due to a slip disc) i have even heard rumors of the establishment of a local skateboard mag (not sure if this has materialized, but i hope it has).
Gary and Barry over at LoveSkatePark have put in a tremendous effort publicizing our local talents. I am an avid follower of their "10 Tricks" video series showcasing some of our local boys, and quite frankly i am rather surprised. Many times me and Kurt have sat around watching skate videos going, "Damn we could never do that" but its humbling to see our local boys taking it to a whole new level.
Gary and Barry's story is much like us, a friendship bonded over the love of skateboarding but what makes us different is their commitment to letting the world know that Singapore skaters are not to be taken lightly. So for, the Singapore skate scene, We salute you! And here we have for you another milestone by LoveSkatePark, RSVP now if you haven't already.
The recent budget 2009 Debate saw a few changes being made to the legal practice in Singapore. Law Minister K Shanmugam announced this afternoon that overseas law students are no longer required to attain a 2nd upper honours degree in order to be exempted from the mandatory 2 year legal experience requirement. (article from The Straits Times: http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_337896.html)
The rationale for the 2:1 requirement was to uphold standards in Singapore's legal practice after Singapore saw itself flooded with a huge numbers of lawyers in '92. This requirement then went on to screw many lives up for about a decade, until my hero, Mr K Shanmugam decided that it was time to retire this long outdated progamme. I guess he finally realised that writing 3 good essays in 3 hours does not necessarily make you a good lawyer. I qoute:
"This brings me to Mr De Souza’s further point that students with Second Lowers should also be allowed to try and qualify for the Bar without additional hurdles.
With the introduction of the new Parts A and B of the Bar Exam and Training Contracts, we will allow students with Second Lowers to take those exams without additional hurdles. They will be treated in the same way as other students.
These new exams should be sufficiently rigorous to ensure the required quality. And the market can be the test of professional ability. The Schedule for Universities will remain, and will serve as an additional safeguard. Changes will be made in time for the new Part A course later this year. "
Along with that, the Law Minister has finally gave the thumbs up towards the abolishment of the DipSing programme; replacing it with an optional 3 month legal conversion course. (did he just said optional???) Also, changes will be made to the existing PLC course in order to better prepare graduates for the legal practice.
Okay, as Ken would have agreed, i think we need some beer to celebrate. posted by John T at
8:30 PM
//Thursday, February 12, 2009 12:39 PM
The one approaching Valentine's Day
If you've ever been attached to someone, of the opposite sex (thereby ruling out those in love with their right hands, you reading this John?) you would understand the significance of V Day. Even if you're indifferent to this occasion, most ladies would just nag you until its the only day you live for.
I for one am not the greatest fan of this V Day hogwash.
I always imagined a consortium of trade union leaders gathered over a round oak table illuminated by the flickering candlelight discussing marketing plans when it comes to V Day. This must be the real history behind Valentine's day, a commercial ploy set up by early businessmen eager to milk the consumer of their hard earned money.
Everywhere you see people selling roses for $15 a stalk where it used to go for under $6 a stalk. Every price index is raised on this ocassion, forget about eating out cos you'll never be able to find an empty table even in Burger King.
And then there is the expectations. Girls will expect to be showered with gifts and cards, sweet hand-written poems or romantic dinner dates that they're willing to skip an episode of Desperate Housewives for. And don't hint to them that you have everything set up, cos they'll start blaming you for ruining the surprise not even when she starts begging you to reveal them.
And you can never use the excuse of "It's Valentine's Day?" because 2 weeks before V Day, the whole town is plastered with advertisements or billboards depicting this devious occasion. Even if you stay in you will be bombarded with these little hints over the radio or television.
If you're still single now, more power to you, but soon "Big Brother" will start making you yearn to be attached. I opened my letterbox the other day and guess what i saw.
A newsletter from SDU.
For those of you not in the know, SDU stands for Social Development Unit which is just another name for "Busybodies-who-want-you-to-be-attached-just-to-milk-you-on-V-Day". I was flabbergasted staring at the newsletter which was for a website they had created aptly name LoveBytes where they try to hook you up with your dream girl. UTTER RUBBISH, if you're a guy and you ever had a dream girl, you know she wouldn't need such services. Alternatively, if you're my friend and you think you need such services, please let me know, because i need to laugh at you before deleting you from my life.
Adapted from LoveByte's About Us page:
Yes!!! We believe in our mission of promoting marriage among singles and inculcating positive attitudes towards marriage among all singles in Singapore to achieve strong and stable families in Singapore.
Notice how they only mention the importance of marriage? What about Love? So they're not promoting Love?
Obvious commercial ploy to brainwash the importance of V Day into you.
Their Formula for Success:
We strive to bring the following to you in the best way we can by:
Starting with a healthy dose of Quality Service in all areas of our work;
Adding a sprinkle of Care in our encounters with you. (Don't you start "sprinkling shit on me you know how gay that sounds?)
Mixing in a sense of Shared Goals and Responsibility - we're in this for and with you; and
Exercising professionalism when serving you and that includes upholding your need for privacy and confidentiality, and respecting you as an individual.
I'm so glad i have a girlfriend that, like me, detests the idea of celebrating V Day. Our belief is that, if you only shower a girl with attention on one day of the calendar year, then maybe you need a membership with LoveBytes. Or let me know, i will hook you up with them, but that doesn't mean i won't laugh at you, but you already know that.
Everyday should be treated as Valentine's Day if you think about it.
That's it i need to go drink some beer so i feel manly again after posting this.
The last Friday (6th Feb) was the best time in Zouk we've had in a long time. As with all other nights, we were out to make it memorable. However, something made this night vastly different from all others. This night we had a secret, a secret so huge that if it was made public, we would all have a genuine reason to be drink driving that night. Some people, me, had foreseen the future and had decided to grab a cab down instead.
My gf Kelly, was never a big fan of celebrating her birthday, she kind of adopted the "If someone plans something we'll do something otherwise fuck it we'll watch whatever's on the telly" mentality towards it. Well to be fair, nothing was planned that night with regards to intentionally celebrate her birthday and she had made me promise not to let anyone know it's her birthday on the 7th of Feb.
Kelly: Please hor don't tell anybody it's my birthday
Me: Why?
Kelly: I don't like to celebrate, you know what!
Me: But i like to drink!
Kelly: DON'T TELL THEM, THEY WILL MAKE ME DRUNK!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA......ok i promise
She wasn't wrong, the last birthday party i attended with them, i nearly couldn't make it home from Sentosa. It was Chanel's birthday that night and we were going crazy in a resort she had booked. Let's just say they had a fully stocked bar. And these people really know how to party, they will find the most obscene reason to party, Farewells, Anniversaries, Birthdays, New jobs, New Home, etc.
Anyway, as we made our way down to Zouk, Kelly was incessantly reminding me not to reveal her secret and i made no attempt to silence her knowing full well the futility of my argument. Also she was telling me it's her last night out with us before she dives back into her books for the next few weeks, which in my night calls for a reason to make it a good night out.
We started the night in Winebar just chilling out and playing guessing games. Everyone was making Kelly drink as it was her "last night out", i secretly smiled and struggled to keep the secret.
Things started to go abit more wild once we got into zouk, for one they were having one-for-one for a jug of Rum all night and at one point we had about 6 jugs on our table. Then Justin bought Kelly a shot of Flaming Lamborghini much to her protest, and while she was running around hiding from the waiter Justin started singing her a birthday song in mock humour, but still so ironic.
Kelly: You told him it's my birthday?
Me: No, he's just kidding lah.
Kelly: Hahaha so coincidental meh?
Then she decided to share the joke with Justin.
Worst.Decision.Ever
Kelly: I'm going to tell you a secret.
Justin: Ok.
Kelly: But you cannot tell anyone or make me drink anymore.
Justin: OK
Kelly: Promise?
Justin: Promise!
Kelly: Actually today is my birthday hahahahaha!
Justin: What?!
Kelly: Yah today is my birthday!
Justin: EH TODAY IS KELLY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!! *Shouts to everyone*
All: Serious?!
I was helpless, and did the only logical thing i could think of.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I had no idea why Kelly thinks that Justin would keep her secret, but i was a little glad cos i knew the party is just starting.
Brenda immediately bought a tray of Tequila shots and Denny brought on more jugs of Rum. When those were finished Chloe bought a bottle of Moet while Ari bought another 2 jugs of Rum. Me and Denny were discussing what bottle to open, while Justin bought 2 more jugs of Rum. I bought another bottle of Moet with Orange juice.
I'm sure somewhere down the night we had more drinks which i am unable to recall now. But by the time we ended the night i blew 78.6 at the breathalyzer test outside Zouk, while Chloe blew a shocking 100.1 (The legal limit in Singapore is 30-35).
I know we don't usually do death/ violent/ scary videos, but I saw this and I thought it was worth a watch. Please DO NOT click play if you don't want to watch a man die.
Cerna, an immigrant from Guatemala, was stopped by Sheriff's Deputy Michael Parham for a traffic violation on December 19, 2003. He tried to escape in his car and then later on foot. During the pursuit, he shot Deputy Parham twice in the abdomen, non-fatally. Cerna was arrested shortly afterwards. Three agencies had been involved in the chase (the San Bernardino Police, the county sheriff, and the California Highway Patrol). During the apprehension and hand-over, no one made sure he was properly searched.
Linklaters has finally confirmed that it will make 100-120 out of its 640 London associates redundant, along with a massive 130-150 support staff.
Clifford Chance, which has about 650 partners and 3,300 salaried lawyers, has already cut up to 80 junior fee-earners from its London office in response to the financial upheaval. Last month it was revealed that the firm asked equity partners to inject more than £40 million – an average of more than £100,000 each – to boost its working capital.
Allen & Overy is restructuring its Hong Kong office, and is considering asking more than a few lawyers to leave.
As anyone who knows me knows, I am a gamewhore, a game addict, and a gamehead. I love diablo, warcraft, red alert, might and magic, icewind dale, baldur's gate, the total war series, fallout, and I could go on forever and ever.
However, I am also a game snob. I shun games of a certain calibre, and I despise mediocrity in games that lay claim to my attention. I am the aristocrat who eyes the rabble of plebeians milling aimlessly before him. I am Helios, and everyone else are the solar steeds that draw my scintillating chariot of death across Gameland.
And that is why I surprised even myself when I started playing Mahjong solitaire. First of all, Mahjong solitaire is an occidental rip-off of the oriental original. Second, it is dominated by fat Caucasian men who don't know how to play the actual game. And I am neither fat nor Caucasian. Also, I happen to be quite good at the actual game. Third, the premise of Mahjong solitaire appears so deceptively simple at first as to seem somewhat insolent.
I have since revised some of my less generous observations about the game. After spending 10 hours a day playing the game on miniclip.com, I am now an expert. These screenshots show how hard I have been working to break into the top 5 players in the world. Notice how I have climbed the rankings:
For those who feel up to it, I have provided a link below. I would appreciate some competition. Alternatively, I would appreciate $300.
At first, it was a normal day. Except that it was snowing madly. I woke at 11am, checked my email, and realised school was cancelled. So I thought I'd take some photos of the view from my house, which resulted in this particular montage:
Then, all of a sudden, what was a normal day became something quite different. The moment Green suggested it, we both knew we had to do it. So we took off all our clothes, pulled on some shorts, and ran out into the snow. It was minus 7 degree celsius.
We ran down the entire length of Holloway Road. Everyone loved us. Snowman-making families cheered and hooted, cars blared their horns in approval, bus drivers waved, and even old men sneaked a smile or two. We were also attacked by two boys. One threw snowballs at us, while the other took on the mantle of cameraman. What a wonderful time of the year. Check out the resulting photo montage:
I'm profiling a pair of Duffs this week. Having never owned a pair of Duffs before, I was hoping for an orgasmic experience when I smashed open my piggy bank for 90 SGD to pay for the shoes. It felt pretty comfortable, but only in the store. When I got home, the shoes miraculously turned out to be a disappointment. Two reasons:
First, they are very heavy. For the avoidance of doubt, I would like to point out that heavy is different from heavy-duty. My iPaths are heavy-duty, but they're not heavy. This pair of Barlettas, however, is heavy. It pulls on your calves like ravenous lions taking down an antelope.
Second, the fit is questionable. No matter how I lace the shoes, every step I take involves my heel rising halfway out of the back of the shoe. That takes running out of the equation. In my opinion, it also hinders pedaling on the skateboard.
