If you've ever been attached to someone, of the opposite sex (thereby ruling out those in love with their right hands, you reading this John?) you would understand the significance of V Day. Even if you're indifferent to this occasion, most ladies would just nag you until its the only day you live for.
I for one am not the greatest fan of this V Day hogwash.
I always imagined a consortium of trade union leaders gathered over a round oak table illuminated by the flickering candlelight discussing marketing plans when it comes to V Day. This must be the real history behind Valentine's day, a commercial ploy set up by early businessmen eager to milk the consumer of their hard earned money.
Everywhere you see people selling roses for $15 a stalk where it used to go for under $6 a stalk. Every price index is raised on this ocassion, forget about eating out cos you'll never be able to find an empty table even in Burger King.
And then there is the expectations. Girls will expect to be showered with gifts and cards, sweet hand-written poems or romantic dinner dates that they're willing to skip an episode of Desperate Housewives for. And don't hint to them that you have everything set up, cos they'll start blaming you for ruining the surprise not even when she starts begging you to reveal them.
And you can never use the excuse of "It's Valentine's Day?" because 2 weeks before V Day, the whole town is plastered with advertisements or billboards depicting this devious occasion. Even if you stay in you will be bombarded with these little hints over the radio or television.
If you're still single now, more power to you, but soon "Big Brother" will start making you yearn to be attached. I opened my letterbox the other day and guess what i saw.
A newsletter from SDU.
For those of you not in the know, SDU stands for Social Development Unit which is just another name for "Busybodies-who-want-you-to-be-attached-just-to-milk-you-on-V-Day". I was flabbergasted staring at the newsletter which was for a website they had created aptly name LoveBytes where they try to hook you up with your dream girl. UTTER RUBBISH, if you're a guy and you ever had a dream girl, you know she wouldn't need such services. Alternatively, if you're my friend and you think you need such services, please let me know, because i need to laugh at you before deleting you from my life.
Adapted from LoveByte's About Us page:
Yes!!! We believe in our mission of promoting marriage among singles and inculcating positive attitudes towards marriage among all singles in Singapore to achieve strong and stable families in Singapore.
Notice how they only mention the importance of marriage? What about Love? So they're not promoting Love?
Obvious commercial ploy to brainwash the importance of V Day into you.
Their Formula for Success:
We strive to bring the following to you in the best way we can by:
- Starting with a healthy dose of Quality Service in all areas of our work;
- Adding a sprinkle of Care in our encounters with you. (Don't you start "sprinkling shit on me you know how gay that sounds?)
- Mixing in a sense of Shared Goals and Responsibility - we're in this for and with you; and
- Exercising professionalism when serving you and that includes upholding your need for privacy and confidentiality, and respecting you as an individual.
I'm so glad i have a girlfriend that, like me, detests the idea of celebrating V Day. Our belief is that, if you only shower a girl with attention on one day of the calendar year, then maybe you need a membership with
LoveBytes. Or let me know, i will hook you up with them, but that doesn't mean i won't laugh at you, but you already know that.
Everyday should be treated as Valentine's Day if you think about it.
That's it i need to go drink some beer so i feel manly again after posting this.
posted by Ken The Man at
