The Big Balls Daily

We are told Gordon Brown is disgusted, union leaders are up in arms, Prescott is working the anger mill, and politicians from every major party have had something to say.

We know Fred the Shred had a service contract, and that the terms of his contract were a matter of negotiation between informed, sophisticated and experienced parties of full capacity. We know too that any pension payout under the contract was discretionary. We know that the RBS Board sanctioned the payment knowing full well the pension payout was discretionary. We know the decision to exercise the discretion in favour of Fred the Shred was made by Board Resolution, duly minuted and recorded in the Company Books. We know that unless there were serious irregularities or unless the Board was misled, Fred the Shred is entitled to 16m GBP. We know also that Fred the Shred is entitled to not give up 16m GBP as a "gesture" of goodwill.

We know that the government has injected much money into the financial sector. We know that the government took a decision to rescue RBS with taxpayers' money. We know that the decision was made by the government, and we know now that the government wants Fred the Shred to "do the right thing", and to "do what is morally right". We know that the government wants Fred the Shred to give up his entitlement to 16m GBP so as to justify the government's decision to save RBS with taxpayers' money. We know also that the government is speaking to lawyers in the hope that they can force a recovery of the 16m GBP to which Fred the Shred is entitled.

We know the last elections were 4 years ago. We know a general election is due. We know Labour has not been doing well in the polls. We know the Tories believe this to be their year. We know that an economic crisis happens every 6 to 10 years. We know Keynesian economics like the back of our hands. We know that nobody gives a FUCK during boom time. We know that everybody gives a FUCK now.