Anticipation has been defined as many things, chiefly it is an emotion involving pleasure (and sometimes anxiety) in considering or expecting some longed-for good event. Anticipation can be displayed in many ways, some individuals seem to smile uncontrollably during this period while others seem ill or sick. Stage-fright is a type of anticipation in which many individuals have differing sets of responses, from feeling queasy to barfing.
Every individual in their life-time experiences different types of anticipation, even in everyday life anticipation can come in various forms such as the wait for the end of classes or the wait to rush home from work. Nothing however, comes close to the anticipation of the return of a loved one.
Many know by now that my girlfriend is completing her exchange program in Hong Kong (HK) and is due to return in 5 days time. She has been gone for a little over 4 months and i've made 2 trips over to hang out, despite being on the phone with each other every day the anticipation of her return hangs over my head like a drunk cupid awaiting the right moment to impale me.
It wouldn't be possible to accurately describe the emotions rushing through me as the day draws closer, because it will be grossly under-rated and barred by the limitations of available vocabulary. It is in fact more like drowning in a sea of anxiety struggling to surface for air while being pushed down deeper by the hands of time. I'm sure when the day arrives i would be holding up a placard at the arrival halls of Changi Airport trying to hold in on my stomach contents as they threaten to regurgitate the day's contents onto the immaculately waxed marble floor. Like a child standing behind the stage of his first school play excitedly prancing about rehearsing his lines when the first flow of anxiety hits and he stops dead in his track clutching his stomach as streams of vomit rush out of his strangled stomach.
Such is the anxiety i feel for her return. It may sound pathetic, or even immature but that is that and there is no other way around it. I am not able to pretend i feel nothing about her return because i would very much sell a kidney or lose an arm in exchange for it.
posted by Ken The Man at
