Just in case. If we ever say something stupid, please note that said stupidity is ours, and ours alone. Our stupidity! You can’t have it!
//Thursday, July 31, 2008 12:24 PM
Love is a Four Letter Word
“I love you” is a widely used cliché, til the extent that some actually exploit the true meaning of it in order to get the girlies into bed or for many other reasons of fornication. So how many actually mean it? Marriage vows are the same. It is hollow. The escalating divorce rates exemplify marriages in the absence of a sturdy foundation, but the key to having one actually lies within the cliché. Thus, love is absolutely rubbish in view of today’s society. ‘I love you’ has lost its lustre and there is no such thing as love. The standards set for Love are simply too high. (An example as follows): -
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Infatuation on the other hand blinds the unexpected. It is hard to demarcate the 2, but it takes a whole lot of experience to be able to differentiate the feelings. Love must pass the tests; the test of strength and the test of time. Infatuation is the way to go nowadays, and it is a feeling masquerading as true devotion. Infatuation disappears after a period of time, but love persists on.
Nonetheless, will Infatuation take me back to Taiwan?
The holiday has ended, now the reality of going back to work or school has dawned upon us. The sigh was almost audible, in light of times like this it must be good to watch a little feel good video.
Just thought i will share with you guys my favorite internet video of all time. I watch it all the time to get myself pumped up for any situation. Be warned, this video may make your life seem dull and boring.
Kenny and I would like to put on record our monstrous jubilation at JT's return to the fold.
posted by Kurt Kinky at
4:07 AM
//Monday, July 21, 2008 11:18 AM
IDEAL (I Declare Everyone Are Losers)
We hear a lot about the word ideally, but do we really understand what ideally means? By definition, the Merriam Webster Dictionary says “conformably to or in respect to an ideal” & “in accordance with an ideal or typical standard”. What then again is an ideal you ask?
Main Entry:
IDEAL
Function:
adjective
1: existing as an archetypal idea2 a: existing as a mental image or in fancy or imagination only; broadly: lacking practicalityb: relating to or constituting mental images, ideas, or conceptions3 a: of, relating to, or embodying an ideal <ideal beauty>b: conforming exactly to an ideal, law, or standard :perfectideal gas> — compare real 2b(3)4: of or relating to philosophical idealism
Wait a minute, so then my ideal may be different from your ideal? Yes, it makes sense because no 2 people should think the same way, for example my boss may be thinking, “IDEALLY, all workers should report to work on time and be willing to put in extra hours.” Whilst the employees will think, “IDEALLY, we should be getting paid more and the boss should get off my ass!” see that’s an example of conflicting ideals right there. There is no perfect conditions and nothing in the world is perfect, even roses have thorns and celebrities have cellulite
If I was living in my perfect world, there would be no diseases, people would be living forever, Osama would have been found, Mas Selamat would still be behind bars, John would actually like girls, Kurt would be less funny and I would be more handsome. But these things do not happen, the word “IDEALLY” is just a selfish proposition for the whole world to follow the IDEALS set out by the ruling power and my girlfriend!
(Idealism at work)
Please people; stop using this word because it is stupid and selfish and you have to admit it is pretty oppressive to make it sound like someone should be doing the right thing by following your ideal. Well, ideally, my words would actually move people.
Tampines has been dubbed as the "Shenton Way of the East", and it would be hard to refute such a statement as Tampines regional centre has proven itself to be one of the major commercial hubs outside the CBD area. So there lies Tampines Court, a privatised HUDC estate that is approximately 10-15 minutes walking distance away from 2 MRT stations, from schools and from Tampines central itself. The easy access to such amenities makes Tampines Court a prey to big developers, and as expected, the estate was up for an 'en-bloc' sale shortly after being privatised.
The estate was sold for $405 million by way of collective sale in 2007 (see http://www.sghousing.com/2007/03/28/tampines-court-being-sold-for-405m-sources/), however in light of recent court proceedings, it seems unlikely that the deal would go through afterall. Yes, although majority of the residents felt that they should go ahead with the sale, some douchebags, along with the instigation of an 'angmoh' lawyer (mere hearsay), decided that they have too much money in their bank accounts, and thus filed their objections at the STB. Mediation led to nowhere, so to trial we go. How timely it is, the developer decides to f**k us on the deal and refused to extend the time in the Sale and Purchase agreement. Sounds pretty much like a Arcos v Ronaasen case where the buyer was entitled to exercise his right of termination of the agreement due to the breach, even though the main reason was to escape from this bad bargain.
Along with many others, the main reason why I am so concerned with the progress of the sale, is due to the fact that we are highly dependant on the sale proceeds of this sale. Many of the residents have already purchased new homes and they will need the proceeds to complete the sale. Whereas SOME residents are in need of the proceeds to pay off their tuition fees.
So Whats the deal with the minority group. I do agree that there may be some sentimental value attached to their homes, and the location is uncomparable. But all these are not relevant considerations and there is no cause of action to start with. Nonethless, the 'delay-tactic' is surpisingly working to their favour as the STB had dismiss the application to bring foward the date of hearing. So with the dateline of completion just 8 days away, the collective sale of Tampines Court lies in peril, and if the deal falls through, i may just kick kenny and kurt's asses.
Hey yo dudes and dudettes, in keeping with this blog’s tradition of providing tips of life every week, I will start with the first write-up. Ok, so we have been skating for more than 10 years now, and throughout these times we have met many valuable friends along the way. While most of us may sporadically drift in and out of the skate scene what will always be constant is the friendship.
All throughout these years we have also met many new skaters, some inspired us to skate harder while others just make us want to smash our truck between their eyes. Most of the time it is not really their fault, we all remember what it was like when we started out don’t we? Nobody knew anything, all the places, culture, etiquettes and whatnot. So in view of all these I will herein attempt to properly induct newbies into the accepted social etiquettes of skateboarding:
First of all we need to know how to make small talk; it is what breaks the barrier when you just arrive at the spot. For the first tutorial we will learn the things that should not be used to break the ice. Here goes,
How high can you Ollie?
Where did you buy your shoes from?
Who is your favorite skater?
Did you watch [insert skate video title here] ?
Did you read [insert favorite skate mag here]?
Do you have a favorite brand?
What tricks can you do?
Can I Ollie over your deck?
Can you teach me how to skate? (usually we don’t mind teaching, but not how to “skate”)
Do you wanna try my new board?
So there you have it! A list of 10 things that will guarantee nobody wants to be anywhere near you. Some people really do try too hard, when a simple “Hi, do you guys live around here?” would suffice.
Look at this picture I took off the chowtimes. It's beautiful. It's Katong. But if you look at the left lane in the picture, you can see a queue of stationary cars. The nearest traffic light is at least another 200 metres away, but already, the vehicles are building up like bad press.
Five years ago, I would have been able to breeze from Suntec to Simpang Bedok in 15 minutes. Yesterday, just driving from Siglap to the Nicoll Highway took me more than 15 minutes, a large proportion of which was spent navigating the crappy traffic at Katong.
It's going to get worse, and my loins are quivering in anticipation. At last count, there were at least six new projects under development in the area. Advertisements for one of the exciting new condominiums claimed to offer an idyllic paradise in the middle of "peaceful" Katong. That's complete rubbish. Crawling in traffic is not peaceful. It's aggravating.
I know a dirty word when I see one. In this case, it's "en bloc". But since it's French, and I'm not sure if it's really one word or two words, let's pretend it's "en-bloc".
FINALLY!! Singtel is bringing in the iphone to our shores!!! After years of waiting, tech junkies here will be able to own their own iphone without having to buy those unlockable ones from Lucky Plaza.
However, the latest launch of the 3G iphone has been marred by various software problems making me wonder if I should run out and buy one just yet. Samsung and HTC have both revealed their “iphone fighter” in the form of the i900 and the Touch Diamond respectively. I was fortunate enough to lay my hands on the HTC Touch Diamond recently and I have to tell you, this thing is simply impressive. It is capable of so much and I’m not even done exploring it yet! First of all the new TouchFlo3D user interface is a remarkable innovation from traditional Windows Mobile interfaces. I may even go to the extent of saying it’s more visually appealing than the iphone!
Sure Apple fans will argue that owning the iphone is a lifestyle choice above all else. But I’m telling you if you just can’t wait for the local launch of the 3G iphone then perhaps you may like to give this classy gem a try, who knows after trying you may be as impressed as i am.
So I just read all about the NUS Skateboard Club, which I just discovered and which I think is uber cool. They've got some nice pictures of the Singapore scene, and it's quite plain that they love one another, which is another reason why it's a cool club. I wish we could have a cool club too.
Here's a link: http://www.nusskateboardclub.blogspot.com/
Since Ken posted something on modern street language, and considering that the taipei trip is just bout a week away, i shall introduce you guys to my very own 'unorthodox street talking Guide.
Yes folks, as you can guess, it is the all-you-need guide to be freaking cool in the streets. Coupled with a few hand signs (e.g. the 'punk rock hand sign' , 'the east side hand sign' or to accomodate that gigantic ego of yours, 'the finger' could do), you'll get the mei meis throwing their panties at you in no time! So without further ado...
Not Bread Actually Means "Not Bad"
Ken lands a sick ollie over a 1inch curb, hiphop boy goes up to him and says, 'wah chey, not bread man you!'
Perbird Actually Means "Pervert"
Hobo rubs his slong everytime a girl walks by, hiphop boy happened to witness it, and comments to his punkrock friend, 'wah, look at that perbird!'
Chey Chey usage is pretty versatile. A form of expression, to show delight or mockery
Kurt: "i'm going to stay at sheraton taipei" Hiphop boy: "chey chey! rich ah! chey chey!"
alternatively,
Ken lands a crazy tailslide, hiphop boy says: "wah chey chey, not bread!"
This are just the few modern slangs that are rarely used but is a sure thing to help get your way with the mei meis. So why not add them to your street talking vocabulary notebook now and go out and practice.
So I was surfing the net a couple of days ago and I came across Stomp’s Star Blog website. For those of you that do not know what this is, it is basically a gangly consortium of 7 “star” bloggers whom are given a topic every week to write about. When I visited the page the topic was one of absolute euphoria for me
Oh my, oh my what WOULD I be doing? That is a question of utter redundancy; of course I would be spending the whole day touching myself. Think about it, you spend the last 24 years of your life obsessing over the female form and you’re gonna tell me your first reaction is to PANIC??!
No way, I would wake up with an evil grin and start exploring myself. Not sexually (Uhuh) but more experimentally (That’s my excuse anyways). For one day of your life, god has given you the opportunity to learn how to satisfy the female psyche, and of course where they like to be touched. And if you do not make use of this opportunity, you are a sorry flag-bearer for the male population.
The next thing I would want to do is to go shopping. I have no hot female garments (Garments are the female equivalent of t-shirts) in my wardrobe so I figure I should at least purchase a set, it will be a good investment because I can always give it as a present to someone else when this wears off. Next I may need to get my hair fixed, nails buffed and face painted. After 24 years of manhood the innate need to look good may have waned somewhat so I will be trying to replenish that.
Now, looking like I just stepped out of a fashion shoot I should be ready to hit the clubs. Oh wait, I can’t be wearing Nikes dressed like that, I need some heels. Can’t get anything with laces because my rack would be huge enough to obscure visibility of my feet.
Hhmmm, now I certainly look ready to hit the clubs. WHAT THE!!!!!
How do people walk in these things??!
After 3 hours of learning to walk, I decide I should probably get something more comfortable. No, no Crocs are not cool!!
Standing outside Zouk, I try to look hot enough for the bouncers to let me jump queue. They don’t notice me. No problem, I will just go talk to him and subtly rub my puppies against his forearm. Once in Phuture, I will stand around the bar waiting for guys to buy me drinks. Woot!!! I dun have to pay for my drinks tonight.
What’s this? Some guy thinks he can feel me up. I turn and give him one tight slap across his pimply face. It must be nice isn’t it, being able to slap anyone, this would be suicidal a few days ago. As his grin fades from his BMT face I headbutt him and slide deeper into the dancefloor. That felt good!
After downing my 27th free flaming lambo I feel pretty heavy. I must have passed out because I found myself awake in some dude’s bed. Hah silly him, I realize I’m a dude now too. So I lay on my side propped up on my elbows grinning at this fool. I can’t wait to see the look on his face!
Discrimination based not on race, gender, or religion, but rather on a disturbingly horribleiTunesmusic library discovered through a school or job network.
John accused me of playlistism when I questioned his collection of Moffats & Backstreet Boys.
Sucka Free
Single Status Female
"Hey girl, are you going out with your man tonight?" "Hell no! I am sucka free!"
Viagrate
To imbue with lasting vigor
Revenues are slumping, therefore, we must viagrate our sales source
Choreplay
When a woman is turned on by the sight of her husband/boyfriend/partner doing regular household chores, that she would normally be doing.
"Last night, it was all about choreplay. I was all 'OH YEAH, fold that laundry. Oh yes, just like that! In half and, then in half again. OHHH'"
Peasantvision
Television channels you get without a cable or satellite TV subscription.
I can't afford digital cable, but I still get some good shows with the rabbit ears on peasantvision.
Designated Drunk
The Designated Drunk assumes responsibility for all drink offers given to the Driver. The Designated Drunk will take all offers of toasts, shots, and drinking competitions in place of the Driver.
Random drunk: "Hey dude! Come have a shot with me!" Designated Driver: "Kurt, you're DD. Take that shot for me." Kurt: "Alright."
Maybe it's because I'm generally shitty, but trick tips have never worked very well for me.
Like how the hell am I supposed to learn to land a 360 flip by watching a video of a guy doing it?
The script is either ultra-obvious and thus redundant: "To do a 360 flip, first, put your feet in this position. Then you pop with your back foot, and at the same time, kick out with your front foot. When the board comes round again, catch it and roll away".
Or the script, as Kenny points out, is simply nonsense: "To do a 360 flip, learn to do a 360 shove-it and a kickflip. Combine the two and you have your 360-flip".
It could also be that the script has a couple of grossly brainless pointers on impressing the ladies: "When the board comes round again, catch it and roll away. Look suave and debonair for the legions of admiring fans that have gathered round the park".
But since I am the trick tip guru, I will be providing many tips for aspiring losers over the next couple of years. Watch this space. In the meantime, here's a trick tip video for your enjoyment. I like how he keeps repeating "Scoop. Land. Scoop. Land. Scoop. Land".
Yo! Its time i make my super star appearance. Welcome to The Big Balls Daily, where you will receive the latest low-down of the lives of 2 losers and 1 winner (thats me). For starters, they call me John, 23 years of age at the time of this post.
Skateboarding is for kids, and since the 2 "Ks" are still at it, that pretty much sums it up.
Anyway, the blog is up and running, and certainly looks good. We promise readers out there that you'll get a random mix of posts - some serious, and some absolutely crap. And finally, we want to be 'famous celebrities bloggers', so goodbye boredom and hello Stardom!
Kenny is spotty, sporty, and simply spot on. We are old men, and we would much sooner have some ice cold hoegaarden at Blooie's than broken butts and busted boards.
posted by Kurt Kinky at
3:17 PM
//Saturday, July 12, 2008 8:48 PM
Introduction to Us
Come one come all, welcome to our emporium of mindless ramblings! Please feel free to leave comments, we may not acknowledge them but it certainly helps make the site appear to have more traffic.
Let me attempt to kick this site off with a little contribution from myself. Firstly let me tell you guys my problem. I have a medical condition. The doctors have diagnosed it as “Wimpmorphosis Syndrome”. Understanding this disease is like finding the Holy Grail in the medical community, thus nobody has any known tested treatment for it. But from what Dr. Chong can tell, it only affects males!
Let me explain what I mean.
When We First Started Skateboarding (Lets Call This the “Good Old Days”)
Kurt, John and me while skating between spots chanced upon a sweet set of 6 stair set. The conversation goes like this:
Kurt: Nice set!
Kenny & John: OH yeah dude!
Before anymore word is exchanged John has grabbed his board and landed a Kickflip. Kurt followed soon after with a Half-Cab and me with a melon grab.
Kenny: This spot is damn good lah! Must come back next time!
Kurt: Yahlah the 5-0 also never disturb us
John: Wah I landed my Kickflip down on the first try leh damn power lah!
Kenny: I will make you weep the next time we come back here lah
Kurt: Eh shut up shut up watch me Fakie Big-Flip down!
And the whole day is spent sessioning the 6 stair set thinking about where to find the next big set of stairs.
Ok now let’s fast forward to now and see what the difference is like.
Present Day (No Country for Old Men)
John no longer skates after landing a Kickflip down 12 stairs eons ago. So, Kurt and Kenny were out skating when they came across a 6 stair set.
(No Shit check out John's kickflip circa 1999)
Kurt: Whoa check out that set!
Kenny: What are you thinking? Don’t you remember how you snapped your ankle?
Kurt: Huh… But I want to try leh
Kenny: Then try lor who knows you might pull it off
Kurt: I don’t want to break my ankle again leh, how?
Kenny: I think I want to drink Teh Peng! (The teh peng at bedok north Sheng Shiong is damn good no shitting you)
Kurt and Kenny ended up sipping Teh peng for the next 30 mins while reminiscing about the past before skating the measly knee high kerb over yonder. Good news is no bones came close to being threatened that night.
So yeah, there ya have it, I admit it, I have wimped out on myself. Not proud of it but gradually accepting it. It is fine though, Dr. Chong said it is a natural cycle all males go through. (He’s right, I witnessed it when his wife called)
So I’m now 24 and Kurt is like 26 and we have kind of hit a pre mid-life crisis where our idea of a constructive skate session involves more Teh Peng than spilled sweat. If you ask me I will choose to blame work. Think about it, if I broke my ankle and had to take leave from work for a week, who is going to cover my work? That is if I even still have a job.
If I still kept my job, what if my boss deducts my salary during my recuperation process? Damn it, he can’t cut my pay! I need them Teh Pengs. And if my pay was not deducted can you imagine how high my assignments must be piling up now? Damn it!!! No!! Too many variables to think about, too much brain cells wasted worrying about such issues that could have simply been avoided with a 30 minute Teh Peng break.
For those reading this and thinking, “Well that’s you dude, I’m good I got my balls and pride intact.” Let me ask you, when was the last time you did something for the first time?
If you find that your answer is a period longer than a year. You, my friend, are not in the clear as you may have thought. As for us, we are in rehab, we are taking the plunge, dumping all our savings on a backpacking skate trip to Taiwan. Now this may not seem impressive, but it is something we have been talking about for years but not having the courage to take leave from our respective commitments.
So wish us a speedy road to recovery while I find the balls to go talk to my boss. I think I left them somewhere in that damned closet back home.
You Watch out Taiwan we are coming to Taipei to find you!
I am 26. I am skinny and tall, but handsome in a rugged kind of way. My friends all think so too, especially after my pimples started falling away in the wake of the 1997 asian financial crisis.
This blog is like, totally, like cool. We set it up because we were amazed how many people were earning a living by writing absolute crap on a regular basis. We figured we could do that too. So we started this thing, and we think it's like awesome, really like down with it and like cool.
My role is sexy. I am the skate trick tip master, and I am here to teach everyone how to land your tricks and glide away smoothly into the ever-velvet. Worship me.
